“How are you?” [Holmes] said cordially, gripping my hand with a strength for which I should hardly have given him credit. “You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive.” –A Study in Scarlet, pg. 10
“Afghanistan or Iraq?” –A Study in Pink
On learning that the Earth goes around the Sun:
“You see,” he explained. “I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him is crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things, so that he has a difficulty laying his hands upon it. Now the skilful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic…It is of the highest importance…not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones.”
“But the Solar System!” I protested.
“What the deuce is it to me?” he interrupted impatiently: “you say that we go round the sun. If we went round the moon it would not make a pennyworth of difference to me or to my work.” –A Study in Scarlet, pgs. 14-15
Sherlock: “Listen. This [pointing to forehead] is my hard drive, and it only makes sense to put things in there that are useful. Really useful. Ordinary people fill their heads with all kinds of rubbish, and that makes it hard to get at the stuff that matters, do you see?”
John: “But it’s the Solar System!”
Sherlock: “Oh, what does that matter? So we go round the sun. If we went round the moon, or ’round and round the garden like a teddy bear,’ it wouldn’t make any difference. All that matters to me is the work.” –The Great Game
On his profession:
“Well, I have a trade of my own. I suppose I am the only one in the world. I’m a consulting detective, if you can understand what that is. Here in London we have lots of government detectives and lots of private ones. When these fellows are at fault, they come to me, and I manage to put them on the right scent.” –A Study in Scarlet, pg. 18
Sherlock: “I’m a consulting detective. Only one in the world, I invented the job.”
John: “What does that mean?”
Sherlock: “It means when the police are out of their depth, which is always, they consult me.” –A Study in Pink
And then Sherlock gets into the mystery, which is oh-so-much smarter than the original…but doesn’t Conan Doyle’s Sherlock seem polite compared to the BBC version?